1. Expectation: At a dinner party, you catch the eye of a cute guy. You chat all night over delicious brie en route and he asks you if you want to go to drinks the following week.
Reality: You finally find someone on OK Cupid who looks like his interests might not include "skinning women."
2. Expectation: You spend the next week text-bantering.
Reality: You exchange two messages about what neighborhoods you live in. He uses the wrong "your."
3. Expectation: He tells you to meet him at an upscale bar closer to your house than his.
Reality: He asks you what the plan is for tonight and tells you he is hungover from the night before.
4. Expectation: He says he's 6-foot and he's 6-foot.
Reality: He says he's 6-foot and he's 6 inches and could dance on the palm of your hand.
5. Expectation: The place is a cute, slightly upscale bar clearly meant for dates.
6. Expectation: You grab a table and need to tell the waitress to come back like four times because you're too busy talking to look at the menu and pick a cocktail.
Reality: You order the strongest cocktail available to you and make awkward conversation with him until they arrive — and you both suck them down immediately.
7. Expectation: You say, "Me too!" to everything he says, and vice versa.
Reality: You let your eyes glaze over as he delves deeper into the intricacies of his sister's job as a dental technician.
8. Expectation: You have that tipsy moment somewhere in the middle of the date where you look at each other and smile, and know you're gonna make out on the street once you leave.
Reality: You have that tipsy moment somewhere in the middle of the date where you're like, "How can I wrap this up without seeming like a dick?"
9. Expectation: Even though he clearly wants to come up after making out on the street for 15 minutes, he drops you off with a good night kiss and asks you to save your Saturday next weekend for him.
Reality: You pretend you're tired and bail as soon as possible. He points out you did not leave enough money. You throw a few more dollars down and run.